Brandy and Pucks, The Second

Brandy and Pucks

by Kadmus Greningen

Is Reinhardt in danger?

There is only one name on the lips of all Staffers this week, the one of Sherman Reinhardt, who, if he continues on this pace, will break all the scoring records of the Borschland Hockey League within three seasons.

The tale so far, in three games: 6 goals, 6 assists, and he had a hand in every goal Te Staff scored up to the third one versus Dohmatische, which was finished by Hauke Sybrandy off a rebound from a Christoph Anselm slapshot.

Anselm, who led Te Staff with 21 goals (19 assists) last season, was asked after the game what he thought of playing second fiddle to Reinhardt's concertmaster.

"Whatever helps the team," said the notorious ladies man, with his trademark rakish smile. "But let's hope no phase-shift lets in any more Merikanischez (Americans). I might be out of a job.

"No fear of that. Anselm seems to be skating even faster this year with Reinhardt's example to live up to.

But there are rumors of dissatisfaction coming from corners of the nation, especially Matexipar, the home of the nationalist United Borschland Movement.

The UBM has so little support among the people that it was unable to muster enough votes to send even one minister to parliament. Some even consider the group a glorified fan club, as they are dedicated supporters of the Iron Sticks of Matexipar, with their drums and clangers making a constant racket at every game.

Letters have been received at this agency of the press, Te borscher sporttelegraaf, from the UBM collectively, that call Reinhardt an "illegal" player.

No official from Te Staff has confirmed this, but it has been whispered in drinking establishments near the River Oval, where the team plays, that Sherman Reinhardt has received certain other letters threatening his life.

If this is true, it behooves the government and the Association of Detectives to find quickly these troublemakers, starting with the UBM or whatever shadow groups may be operating amongst them.

Players from outside Borschland, and indeed outside the Continent have always been welcome in the Borschland Hockey League. To this point, there have been few of those true "ousslaenders," such as Skylar Magnusson from Sweden. And none have made the impact of a Sherman Reinhardt.

We are not an intolerant nation. If Reinhardt had signed his contract with Matexipar, it must be likely that the UBM would welcome him with open arms.

But now, as Te Staff has benefited from Reinhardt's presence, that benefit should not be taken away.